A Response to, “I was born that way.”
Society tells us that same-sex attracted people were “born that way” and “it isn’t a choice.”
After reading that first sentence, did the words, “that’s not true,” instantly fill your mind? You’re not alone. Many Christians respond to these statements with strong and immediate denial. And for good reason. The Bible clearly condemns homosexual marriage and intimacy, so surely these assertions can’t be true, and no one is born same-sex attracted.
In Genesis 3, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, the curse of sin cast its horrible shadow over every single member of humanity. As a result, each of us has inherited a sin nature from our father, Adam. (Rom. 5:12-14)
Sin is anything contrary to God’s nature. God is truth, love, holiness, purity, mercy, justice, righteousness, and every other fundamentally good thing there is. (1 Jn. 4:8, Deut. 32:4, 1 Ptr. 1:16, Pro. 30:5, Ps. 103:8, Ps. 19:9) Which means, anything we do, say, or think on that opposes God’s inherent righteousness is wrong.
To God, humanity is special—unique among His creations. Genesis 1:27 (KJV) says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” We are the only creatures who can boast this. Animals, plants, atmospheric phenomena, celestial bodies, even angels—none of them can say they are specifically created in God’s image. God intended for us to be perfect. He made us to be sinless and whole for eternity.
Not only did God create humanity in His image, He also gave us the gift of His Word, in which He lays out His expectations and His designed order for the world. One of His designs is marriage. (Gen. 2:24, Eph. 5:31) Biblical marriage is discussed throughout Scripture, and one of God’s purposes for it is to model the relationship between Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church. (Eph. 5:23-32)
The underlying fault in a homosexual relationship (as well as extra-marital or pre-marital intimacy) is that it perverts the God-given image of Christ and the Church. It takes the illustration God drew specifically for us and colors over it, adding, subtracting, and warping the picture until it no longer accurately represents God’s truth. The image becomes something contrary to the nature of God; it becomes sinful.
Many Christians grow up knowing all of this. Even before we say our first word, our parents or grandparents read us colorful books about Jesus, Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, Moses, and so many other Biblical accounts. Sunday School teachers tell us about Abraham and Isaac, Paul and Peter. We memorize the Ten Commandments, the books of the Bible, the twelve disciples. We hear about a host of things God considers sin, and it’s very clearly explained to us that biblical marriage is between one man and one woman.
Christians also learn early in life that we have a sin nature from conception, and we are born sinners. (Ps. 51:5, Eph. 2:3) As we get older and experience more of this world, monstrous sin eats away our innocence. It infects our lives, either through personal weakness or the sins of those around us. We suffer because of the acute darkness in this fallen, sin-cursed world. The sin nature we’re born with plagues us every moment of every day. Even infants exhibit evidence of their inherited sin nature, manipulating parents and trying at every turn to get their own way. Children, teenagers, younger adults, and even not-so-young adults discover an appetite for forbidden thoughts and actions. Some gravitate toward addictive behavior, becoming enslaved to drugs or other harmful substances. Others become acutely aware of a burning rage they can’t seem to douse. Still more find that they very much enjoy using other people as pawns in their intricate schemes. And some spend every day with the urge to feel and experience the world in ways God never intended.
That urge can manifest in same-sex attraction. Sometimes, the physical desire for others of the same sex rises because of abuse or trauma in early life. But it can spring from seemingly no source at all, and some who experience it say they can’t remember a time when they weren’t same-sex attracted. (See Becket Cook’s A Change of Affection)
So, in a way, the claim that same-sex attracted people are “born that way” is true. We are all sinners, and we are tempted differently. For some of us, the temptation is to give into thoughts and actions centered around the physical desire for those of the same sex. In our natural, sinful state, we need to obey that desire. There is nothing holding us back from it. It is our master. In a very present and visceral sense, “it isn’t a choice.” But when we are born again in Christ, He gives us a new, spiritual nature. We are no longer enslaved to sin, and God empowers us to choose righteousness. (Rom. 6:16-23)
God did not create humanity with sinful appetites and urges. Humans chose to disobey, and so, though we were made to be perfect, we cannot be. We are born with a fallen nature that inescapably pushes us toward sin. (Rom. 7:24)
But there is hope in Christ, our Redeemer, who holds out His hand, offering to pull us out of the pit of sin and darkness we are born into. When we take His hand, we are no longer fettered to how we were born,
nor are we imprisoned behind the bars of choicelessness. In Christ, we have hope, freedom, power to choose.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV) says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
Before we accept Christ’s salvation, we may not have a choice in how we handle same-sex attraction, but once we’re bought back from sin, God’s enabling power to say “no” in one of His precious gifts to us.
Originally posted on braveauthors.com on 2/18/25 under the title “Born, Made, and Born Again.”